I’ve struggled on and off with addiction / mental health issues since my teens. After a long period of sobriety from my late 20s until I hit 40, I relapsed and since then have been using every few months, with steadily worsening consequences.
Last week my girlfriend suggested I try and take a different approach, said there were a bed and a treatment waiting for me at Harambe and asked if I’d like to go.
I felt apprehensive but we had a talk with Cathy, who was professional and reassuring and had answers to all the many questions I and my partner had. So I left for Valencia early the next day.
Coming down from crack and heroin, just washed out and not feeling a million dollars, but Cathy and Bilal both made me feel at ease. They ran through the procedure with me and I felt in safe hands.
The process, from light fasting, lying still, cleansing and then the Ibogaine was all handled in a thoughtful way.
I arrived on a Monday, spent the evening in quiet, no eating, little drinking.
The first ibogaine trip was planned for Tuesday morning: The trip came on, first with electronic humming, then shuddering ataxia that renders one immobile and disorientated.
Once I settled into the idea that I wasn’t turning back I just decided to roll with it and from then on it was ok.
I saw this slow unfolding of my life, the struggle for all life, the constant need to counter pain with good…something I had been unable to give to myself.
I saw parts of my life, and who I believe “myself” to be and some of it was deeply saddening and seemed to make up the bulk of the journey.
Each of my trips took 24 hours, with another 24 hours to recover motor skills and full visual acuity without hallucinations.
Today, the day before I leave, I’m relaxed listening to the bustle in the house, my mind is clear, I’m not withdrawing and…I feel so much better than I did 7 days ago.
I think the Ibogaine is important, but I feel the people giving you treatment are as important. I want to thank the whole family for giving me some valuable help.