For more than 25 years I have had this constant companion, a deeply negative voice inside my head continuously reasserting that I’m not good enough in any aspect of my life. Inevitably my self-worth became non-existent and my life was full of constant negative self-judgement, self-loathing and always feeling ‘less than’. This way of thinking led to anxiety and panic attacks and maintaining some level of mental balance was a daily struggle with occasional moments of respite…
Unfortunately, this usually took the form of drink and drugs. I became a big binge drinker, where every few weeks/months I’d go on a drinking bender which invariably ended in drug abuse. Inevitably I’d emerge from each episode not only financially damaged, but incredibly remorseful, embarrassed and disgusted with myself, all of which added more fuel to my ever-growing pernicious internal chatter. I’d then repeat the cycle, first with the usual ‘white knuckling’ period of self-hating and disciplined sober existence, only to seek release from the constant mental pressure by drinking, which eventually ended in another binge, and so on for the last 12-13 years…
Before I went to Harambe, I had tried to shift my destructive patterns through a variety of modalities, including (but not limited to) strict dieting/various forms of intense physical training / many meditation techniques / Yoga / Self-Help Books / Counsellors / Psychiatrists / Psychologists / NLP Therapists / numerous types of group therapy / Rehab Clinics / AA-NA-CA Meetings / EFT Therapy / Mediums / Psychics / Hypnotherapists / Crystal Healing / Magnet Therapy / Ayahuasca / Psilocybin / Reiki / DNA Reprogramming / Psych-K therapy / Holographic Kinetics / Scientology / Islam / Buddhism etc but, whilst all helped with various aspects of my perspective, none were effective at removing the destructive side of my persona.
I had heard of iboga 3 years before actually going to Harambe in July 2016 but was terrified of what I had read and watched regarding the extreme physical/mental experience others had gone through (and having had traumatic experiences on other ‘apparently’ less intense psychotropic drugs like Ayahuasca and Psilocybin, this only delayed my decision to try Iboga).
Eventually I had exhausted all patience with how my life was going and decided that I really had nothing to lose by trying iboga. After researching the internet, I found Harambe and everything about the place appealed to me. After speaking with Cathy on the phone a number of times she showed a level of understanding that made me feel this was the right place for me to take iboga.
Upon arriving at Valencia on Sunday July 3rd, Cathy picked me up from the airport and drove the 30 minutes to their lovely house which is in a secluded part of the mountains. On arriving I met Bilal and immediately felt the need to tell him everything about my life as I thought this was required to better the healing experience. He (correctly) told me that using Iboga was a practice of introspection, and I was to work primarily with myself.
Given my perspective on what was the ‘right way’ for me to heal, I felt that not talking wouldn’t be beneficial and sharing my problems was key to moving forward! But I soon realised Bilal was right and it would have been an unnecessary distraction for me, and so began my week-long journey into myself. The first thing is you can’t eat the day before taking Iboga and on top of this Bilal gives you a magnesium flush to really clear your system out to fully prepare for the journey ahead.
That first day was spent either reading more material on Iboga or going to the toilet – not my idea of a gentle intro! Upon reflection, this experience was absolutely necessary as you are stripped (literally) of your crap and have to really give serious thought and respect to your upcoming experience. Given some of the places I had ended up on my binges, having to go to the toilet regularly and stay with my own fearful thoughts was luxury living in comparison!
The next morning, I took my test dose and it was the most scared I’ve ever been, as I was expecting a much more horrendous experience than I had on Ayahuasca and Psilocybin. An hour later, after no adverse reaction to the initial dose, I was given the rest of my prescribed amount of Iboga and went to bed to wait for the effects to set in. After another hour my experience fully kicked in – and went on for 19 hours! In that time, I couldn’t move without my head spinning – Iboga makes sure you stay in one place thus not allowing you to distract yourself easily! But what became apparent (thankfully) was that I was to remain fully conscious throughout the whole experience, very unlike my other psychedelic journeys. I could now understand what was meant by the ‘waking dream state’ people refer to when taking about Iboga. During the journey I was engaged in a full conscious dialogue with what I can only describe as my inner ‘higher’ self, or my subconscious.
I went through all the issues in my life and was at the receiving end of an incredibly stern ‘telling off’ – which was tough but surprisingly tolerable (I guess because it was me giving me a royal b*llocking!). I came to feel how I had been wasting my life pointlessly, how my inner self craved to live life outside of my current experience, how I was responsible for changing my perception, and all the help I had needed was within me all this time. This is different to rationally realising I was messed up – I always logically knew this but Iboga helped me to actually FEEL this – which was different to what any of the other modalities I had tried in the past had managed.
It’s difficult to fully describe in words the whole experience, but it was definitely something I couldn’t have prepared for – and something that has definitely shifted my base outlook on life. One of the advantages of doing the Iboga experience with Bilal and Cathy is that you get to have a second dose (whereas a lot of other places don’t offer this service) which I had a few days later. The second time proved to be a very different experience for me – I felt a lot of my old negative feelings come to the surface and felt emotionally awful for the duration of the journey and for a good 18 hours after it ended. It’s here that I must mention Bilal and the importance of having someone like him guiding you on the journey.
Throughout the whole experience Bilal proved to be the stable ‘go to’ influence I needed, and was able to read what I was going through perfectly, giving the right amount of support when I needed it. It was by the 3rd day that I fully realised how lucky I was to have come to Harambe – Bilal really knows how to engage with people and help them using his own Iboga experiences – lending an ear when needed and leaving you alone at other times. I came to realise a lot of the initial judgements I had about how the treatment should have been was just another facet of my negative perspective on life – and by the end of the second journey I realised just how clouded I was as an individual when it came to engaging with other people. The experience won’t allow you to hide behind your ego – as Bilal said ‘Iboga brings your ego to the forefront and beats it up’. Given my experience truer words haven’t been spoken!
I’m writing this about a month after my experience at Harambe and can say so far that the negative voice has been turned down significantly. The energy I used to expend on beating myself up is now being used for positive pursuits and opportunities, which would have been (literally) unthinkable 6 weeks ago. I’m also managing to sleep better, which I believe is a direct result of my thought processes being ‘rewired’ by Iboga.
Iboga isn’t the magic pill that I desperately was hoping it would be and didn’t remove all my problems in an instant. But it has been the most important thing that I’ve done in the past 25 years to really help me start existing at a much more connected level within, which is proving to be the key to finally re-start living my life with abundance and love (to which I believe everyone is entitled).
I’ll be going back to stay with Bilal and Cathy in 6 months for a top-up Iboga dose and I would advise anyone thinking of taking Iboga to consider Harambe. If you want pampering, swimming pools, dancing around fires and singing with others then this isn’t the place to go – but if you really, REALLY want to address your inner demons and give yourself the best chance at change (with both a quality Iboga product and support) than I wholeheartedly recommend Harambe.
A quick note to Bilal and Cathy – you guys were great; I loved the family atmosphere and how you made me feel welcome in your home. Looking forward to seeing you guys again in 6 months! Jonathon
First of all thank you so much Cathy and Bilal, this experience has truly brought me from a dark looping mess to a light smiling future in such a short time.
I’ve been to detox clinics before and the problem i found was, its ok to detox in a clinical setting but then stepping out into the real world again is a big struggle, as real life hits you immediately, the noise and stress come rushing back and it can be a bit over whelming. What Catherine and Bilal provide is a private family environment with lots of friendly interaction with there whole family including Jama, a very friendly dog and their 2 wonderful children.
I booked in for 5 days. The treatment was more intense than expected but both Cathy and Bilal were with me the whole time for guidance and reassurance. With a registered nurse also monitoring me the whole way.
Truly like nothing I have ever experienced.
This short treatment has cleared my head and my heart and given me the space and time to assess the causes of my looping negative thoughts that created my bad habits and also shown me some tools to deal with future triggers that might trick me back into old habits.
From the moment Bilal pick me up to the moment he dropped me off, I felt welcomed with lots of stories and laughter even when I didn’t feel like it.
I highly recommend anyone might be struggling to check them out as I can sincerely say this has diverted me from a dark path into the light and I know I have made some very cool new friends.
Thank you guys
Leon
One day after the treatment, I feel more blissful than I have in years. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the medicine, and it’s nothing like you hear online, but it’s more than worth it all the way through. The stay was great and the hosts were amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed my experience overall, even if I was a bit nervous in the beginning. I can’t recommend this place enough and I can’t wait to come back
It is incredibly dificult to comprehend what Kathy, Bilo, their amazing family and iboga have done for me. The beauty of working with Bilo and Kathy is not only that they are ‘just amazing people’ but that their approach to administration Is bespoke and holistic, they curate a very safe environment which is imperative when undergoing such a powerful treatment.
It is tremendously labour intensive work Kathy and bli do and the amount of care and attention they place on your well-being is munificent, they are real humanitarians, the conversations I had with bilo about B B king, roasted peanuts and the pueblos Jovenes (surprisingly therapeutic), how present and attentive Kathy was to my relaying of my traumas, it all meant so much to me , so thank you for that.
One must consider when undergoing this treatment whom it is they are being looked after by, as someone who as a result of being treated appalling in the past by those who were supposed to be looking after me I find the company of others, especially strangers unnerving- I have never felt so comfortable amongst unfamiliar faces.
I realise now, that before taking iboga there were parts of me that didn’t want to change, to heal, I was able to understand why that was, come to terms with it and now the thought of healing evokes excitement and hope opposed to angst and fear.
Although iboga in and of itself is incredibly healing what makes the medicine so special are its precursory effects, Iboga allows you to not only prosses your trauma but serves as an avenue for hope and an impetus for change.
Understanding that change comes from within and that we are capable of change is no easy task and to go one step further and act on that belief when in a place of severe hardship is almost futile, Iboga altered my entire sense of self – which, prior to taking iboga was very negative, that is no longer the case.
I urge anyone who is struggling in their lives with trauma and addiction to undergo this magnificent treatment, I am absolutely stunned by the e.icacy of iboga.
My brain is still processing a lot, but its nice not to be thinking about opiates and actually my tendencies for self harm and thoughts like that are gone.
Im actually more honest and direct with people, maybe a bit too direct with some emotions but oh well, definitely more transparent with people when I need space
This is day 1 after detox.This place was amazing journey and best decision made ever. Bilal and Catherine are top class profesionals in this field. Cant be more happy feeling clean and clear mind and no even thinking about drugs. I lost 9kg only in 5 days.Never felt more loved and grounded. This medicine bring me direction in life and clarity who I am and who I want to become. This is magic pill and Not. For those who want to see better verion of themselves is a best place to start.Just need to trust process and keep instructions. Hope to see you guys again
Lukas
Hello
I am back home. Still feeling good. 👍.
Thanks a lot for everything.
Give my love to all of your family and to you.
Love Madelaine
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